Have-Be-Do

It’s odd how the same message keeps coming up in life.  It’s the universe’s way of telling you that you have not yet learned the lesson.

One of the consistent things that re-occurs for me is the need to totally own your obligations or responsibilities with a sense of clear direction.I have great difficulty in establishing a clear vision.  There is vision there, it is just not clear.  Having a clear vision is needed if you are to experience great success.

This clarity of vision is a trait that has been demonstrated time and time again by people who have had great success in their lives.

  • Richard Branson
  • Bill Gates
  • Steve Jobs
  • Barack Obama
  • Michael Phelps
  • Ted Rogers
  • Walt Disney
  • Tiger Woods
  • Michael Jordan
  • and countless others…

The consistent theme with all of these people is that they had a clear sense of purpose and they owned it.  They did not let anyone stand in their way on the way to success.

The difference between most people and these wildly successful people is clear vision.  Successful people have a clear vision and they know what they want.  Most of us don’t know what we want and we meander through life just experiencing it as opposed to shaping it to be what we want it to be.  Life is not some linear existence that we are destined to follow.  Life is a fluid, moldable, experience that is meant to be defined by each and every one of us.

Think about the times in your life when you have had success.  these times probably coincide with a clear and focused objective or goal.  You probably didn’t let anyone get in your way and you followed through to completion.  These were times when you defined the road and took charge to shape the outcome for whatever part you played in the success.  We all have the ability to experience these smaller goal based periods of clarity but tend not to apply the same tools for major life altering goals with huge lasting impact.  Your goals do not need to be world changing for millions of people or solve world hunger of bring world peace but they do need to matter to you.  If the things that matter to you are life changing at a global level then step up and take charge.

Here is an exercise for you.  Write a Have-Be-Do list.  This is a list of 100 items that you want to have, be or do.  Take all obstacles, real or imagined, out of the equation.  There is no limit to what you can put on the Have-Be-Do list.  You must list at least 100 things.  Do it without guilt and with a sense of total deserving.  Silence the chattering monkeys in the back of your head that keep telling you that you can’t do it or that you are not worthy.  You will find this a very difficult task as it is uncommon for us to come from a place of total selfishness.  This list is for you.  Write it for you.  Do not write it with any other person in mind except you and your wants.  If your wants include another person then so be it but do not allow your list to be shaped by outside influences such as your job or your finacial situation or you inability to speak a language or any other obstacle that can be overcome.

Oh yeah, in the immortal words of Yoda “Try not. Do or do not, there is no try.

Any list item that begins or contains a phrase like ‘Try to …’ does not count.  Be definite in your Have-Be-Do list.  Instead of ‘Try to make more time for xxxx’  change it to ‘Make more time for xxxx’.  It has a more definite and empowering phrasing that give you strength to follow through.

Once you have that list, Start to do those things and cross them off as you complete them.  You will be amazed at the power you find and the sense of accomplishment you feel when you start to achieve success based on a clear goal no matter how small.

Feel free to share or not. Ask questions or don’t.  The answers will be there when you need them.

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2 Responses to “Have-Be-Do”

  1. David Suydam Says:

    So this begs the question Chris, “What’s on your Have-Be-Do list?”

    Here’s a couple for my list:

    1) Have more time off to enjoy the things I love.
    2) Be the best father I can be to my three daughters.
    3) Do more in my life for other people.

    Makes me think … perhaps it’s not possible to cross some of them off? Perhaps it’s more about the journey, about doing many of these this each day that is most important?

    Or perhaps I just need to be more specific?

    I don’t think it needs to be all about selfishness. Yes, I will put things on my list that fall into that category (I guess #1 already counts). I would also add:

    4) Have a fantastic time exploring Italy, Turkey, Greece and Nepal.
    5) Have money to retire.
    6) Have more exercise.

    One thing I do know: happiness doesn’t come from all the things you Have – unless we’re talking about friends, family, and great memories.

    Be and Do – I’ll have fun making that list.

  2. cglynne Says:

    David,
    These are really great things to start with and as you mention, it is more about being specific.
    Lets start with your first three things.
    1) Have more time off to enjoy the things I love.
    2) Be the best father I can be to my three daughters.
    3) Do more in my life for other people.
    We can modify them a little to be specific.
    1) Take 1 week off per quarter to travel with my family
    2) Make 1 night every week a date night for my daughters
    3) Donate 2 hours each week to help someone in need.
    This keeps the tasks largely the same but introduces some accountability so that you can hold yourself accountable.

    As for your other 3 items
    4) Have a fantastic time exploring Italy, Turkey, Greece and Nepal.
    5) Have money to retire.
    6) Have more exercise.
    This can be expanded and more specific at the same time.
    4) Have a fantastic time exploring Italy
    4) Have a fantastic time exploring Turkey
    4) Have a fantastic time exploring Greece
    4) Have a fantastic time exploring Nepal.
    5) Have X million in the bank by the time I retire
    5) Retire by the time I’m 55.
    6) Exercise 3 times a week for at least an hour.

    You are absolutely right about happiness not coming from the physical things you have. Happiness comes from how you experience life.
    Making a Have-Be-Do list is not about achieving happiness in your life but it is about having, being and doing the thing in your life that you WANT to do. These things can help you achieve happiness or help you clean up some loose ends. They also don’t have to be altruistic. they can be as immediate as ‘I want a Triple Chocolate Klondike Bar’. Life does not have to be about self sacrifice in order to be worthwhile. There is nothing wrong with being a bit selfish in your own wants and desires. It does not make you any less of a person.
    Remember about Yin Yang. Together they form a balance, alone they cannot survive. Light and Dark, Good and Evil, Give and Receive.

    In order to be a great giver, you must practice being a great receiver.

    As for what’s on my list, I’m going to eat an Ice cream Bar.


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